4kuma:

In ancient Rome; men found guilty of rape had their testicles crushed between two stones.

Personally, I think they should start doing this again

chuabaka:

textpostsandcats:

being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you

image

spork:

I hate when I’m in class, working on my personal writing and someone leans over and goes “WHat R U wRITing” like your eulogy if you don’t back the fuck up you soggy lampshade 

chasingtrophywhitetails:

I need a make out session so intense that I forget all my problems and possibly my name.

tetsuyaa:

officer makoto… YEA.. 
ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one thoughwhat am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)
After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.
One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 
She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.
Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.
Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..
And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.
  • partner: you be the teacher ill be the student ;)
  • me: okay
  • me: write an essay on whether theatre architecture of a particular period always reflects that period's culture. i want it on my desk by monday
  • partner: oh no but... thats such a hard essay... is there anything i can do for extra credit? ;)
  • me: no
  • partner: but professor.... surely then i could... persuade you to extend the deadline...? ;)
  • me: no
  • partner: so... what do you want, professor?? ;)))
  • me: an essay on whether theatre architecture of a particular period always reflects that period's culture. on my desk. by monday

spork:

I hate when I’m in class, working on my personal writing and someone leans over and goes “WHat R U wRITing” like your eulogy if you don’t back the fuck up you soggy lampshade 

annabethchasy:

if you think embarrassing shy people on purpose is funny please do yourself a favor and shove a truck up your ass